Fear of Success
- Gina Rene
- Sep 2, 2016
- 3 min read
For several years, I felt that I was stuck, standing close to the end of a tree branch, not knowing whether the branch I was stuck on was strong enough to hold me, or if it would suddenly break beneath me. My vision was at the edge of that branch. I could see it, but I was so afraid that I would fall, I would back up and move closer to the trunk of the tree, the place I felt more comfortable and sure of myself. I was lacking the faith necessary to trust that God would not have given me the vision, and then allowed me to fall the moment I took that step to achieve that vision. Most people do not attempt things because they are afraid to fail, but someone once told me that they felt as though I was actually afraid to succeed.
At the time, that notion was absurd to me, and I iterated as much to the individual who said it. Who would be afraid to succeed? How could such a ridiculous thing even exist? The truth is that it does exist, and I realized some several years ago that it existed in me. Before I could realize that it existed in me however, I had to figure out why someone would possibly feel that way, whether consciously or subconsciously.
The type of person who this could happen to is the type of person who wants to be so perfect in God’s eyes, they are afraid that if they succeed, people would find out how truly imperfect they really were. For me, upon working toward perfection for God, appearing to be perfect in man’s eyes had suddenly become more important to me. I wanted to hide all my sins behind the four walls of my home, never wanting to reveal my wretchedness to others. I failed to realize what many had probably realized way before me. The revelation was that because of those flaws, not in spite of those flaws, was the entire reason I truly needed God, why He needed me, and why I wanted to try so hard to be perfect for Him.
The problem was that I grew up with a father who, no matter how well I did at something, would always find my errors and mistakes. I could hit a homerun in a softball game, steal 2 bases, and make 3 diving catches, but the only thing I heard about after the game was the one fly ball I didn’t get to in order to make the catch. Not being perfect in the eyes of my father was embarrassing to me, and it was in this perfection for “man” that I had begun to try and hide my imperfections. Others had found out early in life that it was okay to make mistakes, while I learned that mistakes were never tolerated, nor was crying or self-pity because of the beating or scolding I received out of those mistakes. I had to learn at a much later age that mistakes simply happened, and instead of beating myself up about it, I simply needed to accept it, try harder next time, and move on with what I had begun.
Finally, a few years back, I had failed so many times because of my fear of success, driven by my fear of others seeing my mistakes, that I had grown weary of being weary. My faith had finally grown past the size of mustard seed. I finally decided it was time for me to succeed, so I stepped out on that limb and am now in the process of succeeding, without fear of what man thinks along the way. These days, I am allowing God to work on my imperfections, and I am immoveable in steering from my vision, despite what others may say or think. Let God be the potter that molds you into what He wants you to become, instead of letting others mold you into something of this world. Have enough faith to step out on that proverbial limb, for if you are stepping out toward your vision, God will never allow that branch to break and cause you to fall. It’s true that the enemy may try to throw a strong gust of wind and knock you off, but with God as your anchor, no weapon formed against you shall ever prosper.
If God has given you a vision, you must ensure that you have enough faith to work toward that vision despite fears or uncertainty. He wants you to succeed in His vision that He has given you, so by all means, don’t be afraid or lose faith on your journey toward the success of your vision. Whether you’re afraid of failure or afraid of success, faith in God is the only true way to overcome that fear.
Peace and God’s Love,
GiGi
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